What Does Psalms 88:15 Mean?

I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up (עָנִי אֲנִי וְגוֹעֵעַ מִנֹּעַר, ani ani vegoveya minoar)—"Afflicted" (ani) means poor, humble, oppressed—suffering from the earliest days. "Ready to die" (goveya) suggests expiring, breathing out one's last breath. This is lifelong trauma, not temporary hardship. While I suffer thy terrors I am distracted (נָשָׂאתִי אֵמֶיךָ אָפוּנָה, nasati eymekha afunah)—The "terrors of God" (emim) are overwhelming fears, perhaps night terrors, panic attacks, or profound dread of divine judgment.

"I am distracted" (afunah) could mean "I am bewildered, dazed, not knowing which way to turn." The cumulative effect of divine terrors is disorientation and confusion. This psychological torment anticipates Christ in Gethsemane, who experienced such anguish that His sweat became like drops of blood (Luke 22:44), and who drank the full cup of the Father's wrath on the cross.